


Sunflower Seeds

by levi_robbed_my_tea_cupboard



Series: Modern London AU [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Day 1 Modern AU, F/M, Friendzone, Hange AU Week, Hange AU Week 2019, Hange Week, I hardly recommed stop reading the tags now, Moblit Barner POV, Moblit is a poor thing, Modern AU, University, Unreciprocated Love, i played and experimented with writing and at times like these shit happenes, kind of, sunflower seeds, this is very vague but it's supposed to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 18:26:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19382281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/levi_robbed_my_tea_cupboard/pseuds/levi_robbed_my_tea_cupboard
Summary: Hanji* is beauty, Hanji is grace,I cannot summary,Moblit had no chance.Hange AU Week 2019 Day 1 Modern AUThis short story takes place in the same universe as my other fic from the series, but is settled a lot before that story and I only made them series because it's the same universe, but they don't need to be read together.





	Sunflower Seeds

If you asked Moblit one year earlier, all he had ever wanted was to peacefully get his degree and proceed into his further life without any major complications. He wasn’t absolutely freaked about chemistry but he enjoyed it and could easily imagine himself working for a company developing a new branch of products. Simple, thrive life. Nothing too exaggerated but at least profitable. Moblit didn’t have any further expectations entering the university.

If you asked Moblit now, he would probably tell you he had been pleasingly surprised with Hanji the very first day when they were matched as lab partners. Since Moblit wasn’t the most sociable person if it wasn’t absolutely necessary and Hanji didn’t care, they had been the last people without a pair on the list. He would tell you that he was thrilled by her enthusiasm, everlasting smile and easygoingness that stormed his up to date calm and hardly ever stirred self. That since the first week ever after the first lab they would go together to grab coffee, Hanji’s main and some days only fuel, and he would walk her to the other faculty’s building chattering about the previous class. Then they would go their own ways and meet again in the afternoon to share a box of chips in the cafeteria while comparing their notes from the day. Hanji’s would usually be more detailed but, unlike Moblit’s, difficult to read.

Starting from December they would go together to the library every Friday. First there were just shared learning sessions before exams but somehow the meetings became their routine. Hanji, as studious as she was, was considered trustworthy by most of the librarians and she easily sneaked in snacks and sometimes even drinks. That being a sum up of Moblit’s feelings towards her, starting with Moblit wondering how she could lie herself out of leaving her bag in the locker, then the next two hours were filled with awe when Hanji’s cup with under-pressed lid was balancing right next to the library books.

Hanji was the chatterbox and Moblit was the listener. He liked it that way. He never felt like he had anything special to say, and even if, who would want to listen to it? Moblit was a listener and an observer. And so Moblit knew that what Hanji was talking about was just superficial. She was mostly talking about the university stuff, chemistry or, more and more frequently, botanic and plants. Moblit started to be curious if there was anything more to it, but then he decided it was only fair since he wasn’t talking much about himself either. But he let himself long. He was longing a deeper conversation, something more that was never to come.

An entire academic year passed in this manner. Moblit was captivated by Hanji’s elusive charm, by her passion that was slowly bounding him through the year and Hanji was... Hanji.

* * *

 

Moblit was sitting in the campus, waiting for Hanji to leave from her last exam and thinking how to confess. Because at that point he was almost sure he should, no point in another year of waiting. The sun was shining way too hot for the city and Moblit was almost melting on the perch, the only thing he should be consuming at that time water or eventually some isotonic but the only thing that could calm his nerves where the sunflower seeds and a growing pile of peels.

It was too early to get a fresh sunflower, so instead Moblit had got a package from delicacies aisle, specifically looking for non-husked seeds. What was the point if someone had already done the most satisfying part? Put between front teeth, bite athwart, remover the peel, crunch, put behind… He had no idea what to tell her. In fact, he had never confessed to anybody and, besides, Hanji wasn’t just anybody. Hanji was special, so special that Moblit had hard time with expressing himself to describe how exceptional, how incredibly unique she was.

…bite athwart, remove the peel, crunch…

Hanji wasn’t seeing anyone, that one thing Moblit knew for sure. If anyone ever suspected Hanji of being in a relationship it would be with him, as they were hardly ever be seen separate. And yet they weren’t. There were even the rare moments when Moblit would ask himself if it wasn’t a one-sided relationship, since he was always the one following Hanji, never the other way around. It was her fourth year at the campus, but she seemed to never make a stronger relationship with anybody at the university, which always amazed Moblit, because Hanji seemed to him this kind of person who would gather people together and make them warm and pleased just with her presence.

…between front teeth, bite…

He didn’t want to demand anything, he just wanted things more established. Because he didn’t know, he didn’t understand what Hanji’s constant proximity was. There were evenings, right before falling asleep, when a voice in his head would try to convince him it indeed was perfectly one-sided, always one-sided, and that she never cared. Not about the same things that Moblit longed so badly. Not about the thing that Moblit was too afraid to name, as much in his thoughts as aloud. So even if she rejected him, it would be better than feeding himself with hopes. It would be reliving. Would it?

…put between front teeth, bite athwart, rem…

An especially hard seed ended up behind his teeth and Moblit couldn’t quite crush it. He tried to bite it harder but instead of opening the seed his front teeth protested. Sigh. He moved it further into his jaw and tried again, but this particular seed was adamant, so he put it away next to the peel pile that was surprisingly big, considering he only just came here. Moblit looked at his watch and oh. Hanji’s exam should be ended till then and he still had no idea how to say that thing.

…crunch…

_Oh, hi, how did it go? Great, great? I knew you’d do great, who if not you? And, so, this was the last thing for both of us in this term so, uhm, I was thinking, would you go out with me? Like, you know, for a date maybe? I mean, it’s ok if you don’t want to but if you want to than I want to too, so if we want together there is no need not to…_

... front teeth, bite...

“Hi Mob!”

Moblit dropped the seed he had in his mouth.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you. How was it?” Moblit forced a smile on his face. Now that it was actually happening he really didn’t want to be there.

“Rather easy I’d say. More like a formality than a serious exam.” Hanji blinked to him, but he almost missed it. The sun was reflecting in her glasses too much.

“That’s great.” Moblit had never before been so aware of the fact that Hanji was three years older than him and he felt… stupid.

Hanji took the opportunity of having a listener and discussed the questions with her answers, delving to all the details that no ordinary mortal had any idea about, including Moblit who just ended the first year of chemistry, and Hanji was discussing her exam in Master’s botanic, so he had no idea what she was talking about. But he loved listening to her voice and staring at her overly enthusiastic face, meddling comments that only triggered more of her reasoning. He loved her.

Hanji checked the time.

“I’ll have to be going soon.”

Shit. How much time did they spend there?

“Aaah, oh, I just wanted to ask. Since we’re done with the uni for now, don’t you wanna go out sometimes? Somewhere not studying-related, just for…” He paused, looking for the right word. “…fun.”

Hanji looked at him confused, as if she couldn’t quite understand how not studying-related and fun could go together, but then an apologetic smile appeared on her face.

“I’d love to, but I’m leaving home this evening. I won’t be in the city till the beginning of the winter term.” Moblit’s expression must have been really disappointed, because than she added “I’d really love to, Mob. But in the summer Rico moves out from our room to the kitchen and rents the room and I promised…”

“That’s fine. Maybe we can think of something when the summer ends.” Moblit was bravely keeping his eyes on Hanji, who seemed to not realize that at some point she was being examined and that she might be just breaking Moblit's heart.

“Of course! Don’t worry, Mob, even after the summer break we’ll always be friends!” She gave him her most honest oblivious smile.

Even sitting, Moblit felt as if the ground was trying to escape from under his feet.

“Yeah, sure. We’re… friends.” Was that how it felt when your world ended? Cold when the sun was shining so brightly?

Hanji got up.

“Are you taking the tube?” She asked.

“Yeah. Hanj, what are you doing?”

Hanji was scooping Moblit’s peels and putting them into her semi-smart trousers’ pockets. Which was slightly weird even for her.

“I know how to compost them.” She shrugged, smiling to him. How could somebody _not_ fall for her? “You missed one.” She said, picking the seed that was too hard for Moblit to bite through. Before he warned her, she put it into her mouth and split it with one, even bite. “Wow, it’s empty. How did you know?”

Moblit smiled sadly, watching the tricky peel disappear in Hanji’s pants, and a strange thought came to his mind.

Could you compost feelings?

**Author's Note:**

> *Official or not, spelling of "Hanji" has to be like this because of the universe ^^"
> 
> No one to beta so any feedback is love ^^ You can yell at me about tenses since I've shot myself in the foot with this fic x.X
> 
> I have a feeling this isn't exactly what was expected for Hange Week but hey, it's totally Hangecentic, who if not Mob :D


End file.
